Clearing lifetime of OCD and guilt


  • Details
  • Intro
  • Legend
  • Verbatim Transcript + Notes


  • Date of session: AUG 27th, 2017
  • Name: Jennifer
  • Age: 31
  • Diagnosis: OCD
  • Medium of communication: Facebook chat


Jennifer had anxiety, obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviors and rituals for as long as she can remember.

At age 24 she witnessed her sister getting hit by a drunk driver, which left the sister blind and brain damaged.

Jennifer blamed herself for the accident and for what happened to her sister, and since the accident the compulsive behavior and rituals got worse.

At the end of the session she has no more guilt, no anxiety, and as you will see below, she took a video of herself breaking each and every old "OCD" pattern while laughing about her old behavior.

If you or someone you know still suffers unnecessarily, do contact me and we'll start gearing you towards a brighter future ASAP


This is an example of a section headline

This is an example of Jennifer's message from our conversation
This is an example of my messages from our conversation

This is an example of my comment ABOUT the conversation

Verbatim Transcript + Notes

AUG 27TH, 6:12PM
OCD is your head telling you to carry out rituals and do things perfectly or something bad will happen.
In my case, I have to do everything in 4s and everything has to be equal. If I drop something out of one hand I need to do it with the other, if I stub my left toe I need to do it with the right. I roll on my deoderant 4 times on each armpit. If I don't do these things my head tells me something bad will happen. I sometimes fight the urge and tell myself it's nonsense, how can i be responsible for something bad happening because I done something 3 times and not 4?? I also have to 'touch wood' several times a day when negative or bad thoughts enter my head (in doing it now because I've just typed that). I have to have all my tins facing forwards in the cupboard and they have to be lined up, my food in the fridge goes in a certain way too. Again, if I don't do this something bad will happen. Hope this helps you understand a little. I can't even understand it myself it's crazy, extremely frustrating and embarrassing.
I can understand it perfectly
this helps a lot
let me ask you
you keep saying "or something bad will happen"
I'm guessing this is something you say to yourself, correct?
either out loud or internally
Yes in my head
The voice in my head is my own voice lol like in arguing with myself
give me an example of one of those sentences
Go back and touch that door with your left hand so as it's equal with your right hand or your mum will die (TOUCH WOOD!!)
Slightly freaking because I've just typed that
so you say to yourself this entire sentence?
*"Go back and touch that door with your left hand so as it's equal with your right hand or your mum will die"*
Not entirely it's more like go do it and the other part of me is like no stop being so silly everything is fine and the other part is saying no do it or bad things will happen
I can't fight the urge
So hard to explain 😳
I'm asking
something simple 🙂
you have recurring things you say to yourself
which are bad
I'm asking
give me one of those things
word for word
It's always about someone I love dying
Never me
give me an example
word for word
of something you say to yourself
about someone dying
Make it equal or mum will be knocked down
I get visualisations not just the voice
"Make it equal or mum will be knocked down"
the voice comes first, then the visualizations, correct?
take that exact sentence you just told me
"Make it equal or mum will be knocked down"
try it and tell me how was it
I feel much less stressed and almost see the funny side
I know it's crazy but I always give in to the urge
I am very chilled out and not panicking
so that sounds good to me
okay now
do it again with another sentence
Done 👍
okay now
what happens now as you try to think about it the same way as before?
The urge is still there to touch wood but I feel stronger than before and know it's nonsense in my head
I'm worried if I don't touch wood something bad will happen but in fighting it longer than before
so you can't make yourself feel as bad as before?
no no, don't fight
no need for that
Ok I've touched wood and feel relieved
I'm definitely more relaxed
we'll get to the touch wood part
do you want me to revert you back to the old feeling?
I can do that you know 🙂
do the same process on another thought
You might notice it gets easier / more automatic every time you do it
Yes I didn't need the link this time lol
so far you've done it on how many sentences?
and they all seem laughable now?
Yes 🙈
do you have any sentences left?
Not just now
so no more sentences?
how do you feel about that?
I'm not carrying out any activities so don't have the urge to fix things so don't feel anxious at the moment
I feel really calm just now
did you expect to feel so calm before we started?
and to be able to laugh at those sentences?
No I'm surprised because I didn't think someone could help my thought process
surprised huh...
so you did not expect to feel as good so fast, did you?
No 🤗
isn't crazy?
you can learn to feel good so unexpected?
about things that used to bother you in the past?
how interesting that is??
I wonder if you also wonder,
as you wander more around those wonderful feelings, what else didn't you expect you can learn to feel good about
what else didn't you think you can learn to feel good about so fast?
and yourself ....
and how would it feel like
when you learn to feel good about yourself
without expecting it?
and after you do, how much better off your life is as you learn to feel good about that?
It would be amazing
Life would be easier
and it would be amazing...
and life would be easier, wouldn't it?
and much easier...
take a moment to think
about all the things you will do
when life is much easier
and it would be amazing
take a few moments to do that
then we move on to the next piece
you mentioned something about images you have in your mind, correct?
explain to me a bit about those
without getting too much into the content
I visualise the accident happening
so that sounds like a movie right?
not a still image
Or finding a loved one not breathing
Yes it's like a clip
first about the accident
run it through that process
let me know as soon as you are done
I have to ask you
will you miss those thoughts about the accident?
I won't miss the thoughts at all
I'm done
how was it
It was ok
I'm getting mixed up with an event in the past that did happen and my visualisation
you are such a fast learner
now run that process on that past event
It's probably the first time I've not cried thinking about the past event
I think having it on 'mute' helped
that sounds good to me!
how do you feel about that?
It's still upsetting having it okay in my mind but I'm calmer
Play *
do it again
is it a memory of an accident by the way?
run the process again on the same memory
I seen my younger sister being hit by a drunk driver in a van
notice some parts might seem even easier and more autoamtic this time
The picture was smaller and faster
now describe to me this process in your own words, step by step, before we make it automatic
Talk you through the picture ?
lol wrong person!
my bad
okay so now when you think of this memory of the accident
are all the bad feelings gone yet?
did you add the circus music by the way?
No they won't ever be
Yes I added silly music
describe to me this process in your own words, step by step, before we make it automatic
like what you've done
the process itself
I've imagined a very small me standing in a very dark street at the beginning, then fast forwarded to the end where my sister is away in an ambulance. I then rewind from the end back to the beginning playing silly music in my head. There is no other sound that's blocked out
so that is part of the process
let me walk you through it
so first see yourself at the beginning of the memory
in a small screen, far far away
make it black and white
mute the sound
and freeze it at the beginning of the memory
before anything has happened
what was your age in that memory?
so you see 24 year old Jennifer in that screen
far far away
small screen
before anything has happened
and everything is okay
got it?
fast forward the memory as fast as you can all the way to the end, after everything is over and okay
do it fast
like a cartoon
and keep the screen far far away and small
and muted
you know how a cartoon
I want you to step inside the memory, next to 24 year old Jennifer
so you are right there with her
is there anything you want to say to her?
or hug her?
It's not her fault
touch her in a certain way?
talk to her in a certain way?
and tell her everything
I want to hug her
everything she needs to hear
and touch her just the way she needs to be hugged
and take all the time you need
and let me know when you are done
Done now
choose how you want to enter her body and become her
so you step inside her body
and you are 24
and you see what you saw at the time
and hear what you heard
got it?
let me know when you are inside
through your own eyes
and 24
I am
now start the circus music
and rewind the memory as fast as you can
all the way to the beginning
when everything is okay
so you see everything in reverse
and hear everything in reverse
let me know when done
how is it different to experience it like this?
It was really difficult to be back there I'm really upset now but I'm coping
I normally shut off the memory
I want to be back where it was all ok
what do you mean be back?
When I had to see and hear it happening
wait I'm not following
you ran it in reverse through your own eyes correct?
all the way to before anything happened?
Yes and want to be back there before anything happened
yes did you run it all the way to that point?
what's your age today?
now when you think of the same memory
how is it different
compared to before
It's much quicker
better than before you've learned the process?
any bad feelings left?
how's your sister today?
It's ongoing as my sister is now blind and has brain damage from the accident so I think the hurt and upset will always be with me because I can't change anything
I wish I could help her
okay gotcha
do you miss her?
now this makes sense
that's good we are going to cover that as well
is the accident in anyway related to you?
No just that I was there and I feel like I could have stopped it from happening but realistically i couldn't have
I was shouting on her to come back to get a taxi with me but she didn't hear me then the van appeared and hit her
remember when you stepped inside the memory and talked to your 24 year old self?
and hugged her?
We had just left the pub
how was that?
I felt sorry for her she was a mess and covered in blood blaming herself
did you feel better after talking to her?
A bit
covered in blood you say?
I want you to find a point after that memory
in which everything has passed
it could be a few hours later
or the next day even
and she is okay
No she's worse
She was in hospital for 2 years
She was initially given 2 hours to live but somehow managed to pull through
in the last 8 years
there were moments in which you felt better
and moments in which you feel not as good
find one of the better moments
when you were 24-27
after all had happened
a brief moment would do
no need for a "period" in which everything was awesome
a single moment in which you are having fun will do
got one?
how old are you in that?
now I'm going to walk you through the same process
this time
the end moment
is that moment when you are 23
what are you doing in that memory?
My baby sister was born in holding her
I'm *
and what are you feeling in this moemnt, holding her?
Proud and full of love
and proud and full of love
and excited!
do this
on that moment
let me know when you are done
My tears have stopped I feel happy and relieved
and happy and relieved...
you have many happy memories with your baby sister?
Lots ❤
and Lots!
let me teach you something nifty 🙂
to the same thing
on another good memory with your sister
and when you peak the emotions of that memory
jump to another
then add to the intense love
peak it
and jump to another
over and over
and cycle through them
and then I'm going to show you something even cooler 😉
there's so much good in you that you have forgotten about for far too long Jennifer
and it's time to let it all out
you deserve it
and the world deserve it
now I'm gonna guide you through this
you have already another memory with baby sister?
so you understand the steps?
ok great
let me know how was it
Very positive and bright
lol I mean when you are done 🙂
I've done this step twice, do i do it again
and when you peak the emotions of that memory
Feeling good
did you enjoy that?
you wanna try something even better?
Of course
do the same thing
and this time
jump to the body of your baby sister
so you see and feel Jennifer and hear Jennifer
and do the same thing
jump from memory to memory
you are in for quite a ride 😉
That was fun 😂❤
lol it was wasn't it?
at this point
do you feel any compulsion for anything?
No none
feel liberated? 😮
Yeah lol
you want me to revert you back to your old compulsive thoughts?
I can do it
because I have a powerful sorcerer friend
okay what?
I'd rather not have the compulsive thoughts again lol
oh really
do you have any other memory from the past that still affects you in a way you don't want to?
other then your sister, we'll get to that
No I don't
okay now
let's do a little test
what were some of your old triggers?
Things not being equal 🙈 fear of number 3, things not in order or not closed properly
does that sound silly to you now?
Yes embarrassing
I want you to see yourself doing some of your old behaviors.
and notice how silly was it
to live that way
and notice
which kind of laugh does that induces within you the most.
describe that laugh to me 🙂
more of a belly laugh?
Yes a chuckle
And a chuckle!
Can you chuckle now?
Remember in school
I am
Sometimes you're almost exploding with chuckles
and trying to hold yourself
and the teacher is getting furious
and you feel like you are about to explode laughing to death
and keep that feeling of silly chuckles within u
and spin it faster and faster
and what color does this feeling have
when it chuckles?
and it's silly?
and a yellow chuckle!
and where do u feel yellow chuckle the most?
My belly
and is yellow chuckle feels better with sparkles or without sparkles?
when it's in Belly?
Ooh sparkles
Always sparkles
and sparkles!
and can sparkle flow and spread from belly?
when yellow chuckle starts in Belly?
and yes!
and keep making this feeling spinning faster and faster
and see yourself in more and more situations
in which
u were acting in your old behaviors in the past
and notice how silly it was!
and keep spinning yellow chuckle with sparkles
and keep going through more and more silly old behaviors
and the more old behaviors you see, the more silly it will seem!
and let me know once you get through them all
now do u want to make everything four times?
where else did yellow chuckle spreaded?
does it reach the legs?
Face and to my fingers
and face and fingers...
and uh...
if yellow chuckle would have a smell
and what smell does a yellow chuckle has
when it starts in belly
and spreads and flows
and face and to fingers
and sparkles?
My favourite perfume
and your favorite gucci perfume!
and can you spray favorite perfume once?
on right arm?
and how does your favorite perfume smell when it's on your right arm?
and clean...
and as you smell more of your favorite perfume
and Gucci
and chuckle and sparkles
and what do you want to do next?
Relax in a bath!
what would seem silly the most?
Counting the times I have to turn the taps lol
and as you do so
keep the feeling spinning
and go turn the tap once
and keep the feeling spinning
and chuckle in belly
and sparkles
and try not to laugh so teacher won't get mad
Done 😂
and move on tin
move one tin
what's this?
a rebelious tin?
this is an outrage!!!
how does a tin dare rebel against the order of the kingdom!!
off with his head!!
feed him to the dragons!
and can one tin Rebel?
and keep the feeling spinning
when it chuckles start in belly
and face and to fingers
and smell Gucci
Rebel tin
Cupboard door closed
did the police raid your apartment yet?
did the troops storm in?
because I will take the blame
tell them it's all me!
Nothing. No one died
but they will never catch me alive!
I'm master of disguise and conjuring you see
can a pencil fall on floor?
oh poor little pen ...
lost in the big big floor
all alone ....
and keep the feeling spinning now
faster and faster
and who shall stand a stronger punishment
rebel tin or castaway pen?
No one lol everything is ok
one pen on floor?
I used a comb
lol what's a comb?
you inventing words now?
For brushing hair 😄
hmmm ...
let's see now ...
our list of suspects is running thin m'lady ...
I'm afraid we gonna have to start planning to for a brighter future now
there's just no choice
you must accept this terrible fate
you know what will happen next right?
right after you roll deodorant one time on left armpit
there's no coming back after that 😀
Ahhhh 🙊
you gonna have to keep spinning feeling
and more and more chuckles
and more sparkles
and if you won't watch it
you gonna be stuck in good feelings
then you gonna start earning more money
people will respect you more
enjoy you more
you gonna sleep better
OH oh ...
and you know what that means ...
you're gonna have to spring out of bed in the morning more refreshed and vibrant then ever before
and make even more money
and shine even brighter
people gonna start getting inspired by your presence
geez will it ever end?!?!
U are genius
here comes the best part!
take all that you feel now
and all that you learned
and all the chuckle
and all the silly
and yellow
and sparkles
and keep the feeling spinning
and start moving forward through time
go through more and more experiences
and the more you grow up
the more yellow chuckle becomes a part of you
the more you find yourself laughing at more and more old limitations
the more possibilities open up
the healthier and happier you can feel
and close your eyes and do it now
and let me know when you're done
and keep moving through time
at least 20-30 years ahead
and keep the feeling spinning
I feel hypnotized
"look deeply into my reptalian eyes child ..."
and try not to laugh!
so how does life seem to you now m'lady?
I can't thank you enough I feel relief
I'll do my very best in every situation with my yellow chuckle Gucci sparkle
if you enjoyed
leave a review so others could learn from your success 🙂
🤗❤ thanks so much for your time
and like and share 🙂
also I have an interesting idea for you!
do you have anything to take a video with?
like your phone?
My phone
make a video, right now, of you laughing at all your old behaviors
go over the rebelious Tin
and the castaway comb
and the uneven deodorant
then later you decide who to share it with
what do you think?
My best friend will be so interested she has OCD worse than me
I feel great and in control
I'll make a video after my bath lol 👍
cool! 🙂
if you share it I will be so delighted
and leave feedback 🙂
and send your friend over, I'd be happy to introduce her to Ally
have you forgotten him already?
he is a powerful sorcerer with a bad temper
better stay on his good side lady!
I will definitely recommend u
And thanks to u and ally ❤
I gotta go now
catching a flight
I have some more tricks to show you,
this was only a glimpse of what you are capable of
but it's a good start 😉
All the best take care. I will let u know how I am getting on in a week or so
I'd love to see your video, if you decide to share, up to you of course
enjoy your bath
(been so long since I've had one really ...)
AUG 28TH, 6:09AM
I'm here for the next 6 hours, if you wanna cram in more goodness 🙂
AUG 28TH, 1:51PM
That was the middle of the night for me lol just up
AUG 28TH, 6:29PM
What's Up?
Greetings from Albania, just landed
Glad u had a safe journey 😊
How was your awesome day so far 🙂
Yeah great, getting a bit frustrated as I've done my 'equal' things a few times. Not because the voice is telling me to but just completely out of habit. Think it'll take me a few days to completely stop
you are too funny!
how many years did you have your silly routines you used to have?
As long as I can remember 🤔 got worse after Linda's accident though
for years and years you had your old limitations
then in one day you learn to turn them into laughter
lol that's even sillier than the old things themselves!
Very true!
I told you we haven't finished yet!
but if memory serves, there's something you promised to do first, didn't you?
What was that?
the video!
share it with whom you wish, or not, but make it!
Ahhh! I'm shy 🙈
lol it's only for you
no one will ever see it
this is important!
Ok so what should it involve
just you
breaking all your old patterns/behaviors/routines
and getting excited / laughing with yellow chuckle in tummy with sparkles as you do it
pretend you are talking to the younger you
and telling her how one day she will meet Ally and laugh about it all
doesn't that sound to you like a nice video to have?
imagine looking at it in the future with your friends
Yes. But if anyone finds my phone they will think I'm psychotic 😂😣
I'll do it
holding your head in disbelief
"lol look guys that was once me!!! I used to do those things like lol wtf????"
okay then we continue to some nifty stuff
after the video, do this:

pick some new experiences / feelings
Ok 👍
AUG 28TH, 9:33PM
AUG 29TH, 1:37AM
Done both video and link
Ready for more?
I am 🙋‍♀️
Why are you helping me 🤗
lol what is that smiley?
after the "i am"
Raised hand lol
oh haha
well I'm on a mission
that's why I help EVERYBODY
I'm fine with living on donations for now
me no need material posessions m'lday
U are a very good person
on my todo list is to write my mission page
I will get to it eventually
out with it!
how was doing the video?
lol I think I'm more excited & curious than you 😮
I kept laughing lol felt silly talking out loud and videoing the old habits
told you!
see listening to me and ally is a good idea
you said
after your sister's accident
the next "good" moment
was the birth of your baby sister
and feeling her presence for the first time
before that moment
did you feel a growing anticipation and want and desire
for her to be borned
and for you to feel baby sister for first time?
Yeah of course
how much time before the birth did you know about your baby sister pregenancy?
6 months
in those 6 month
the growing anticipation
and want and desire
you remember the point in which
you were told about the baby sister?
in that moment
as you think of it now
what do you think?
lol I mean
what do you feel
is it your mom telling about baby sister on the way?
Overwhelmed with excitement
Yes my mum
I'm going to show you a trick
I want you to go back
to just BEFORE
you were told about baby sister
in that moment
you still have no idea baby sister is about to join your life
this point is the end
the beginning
before you knew about the accident
so that's the beginning of the tape
and at that moment
Jennifer is just having a neutral moment, yes?
remember the steps
put the tape in the small screen
far far away
and don't press play justyet
let me know when you got it, okay?
Got it
you know the sound cartoon make
when they are fast forwarded?
in a moment
I will ask you to fast forward that movie
so u see Jennifer in the screen far far away
fast forwarded
all the way
to the point
BEFORE she learns about upcoming baby sister
got it?
just before you press play on that cassete
Watch the video you just made
about the old habit
then as you laugh about that
press play and Jennifer being fast forwarded as fast as possible
to the end
do it now
let me know when it's at the end
do you see her
at the end
jsut before she learns about baby sister?
okay now
step inside the memory next to her
hug her if you wish
(do you?)
whisper in her ear
Not yet
she is about to receive the best surprise in her life yet
and tell her about a very silly video of her future self she is about to watch 😉
does this makes sense?
Perfect sense
let me know when you are done
Ok done
okay now
embody her
so you become 24 year old Jennifer
see what she sees
hear what she hears
feel the anticipation of the surprise you still don't know about
remember the silly of the video of your future self
rewind as fast as you can
hear the circus
all the way
to before anything has happened
okay now
how was that?
Slight sore head now 😄
as you think of it now
how is it different from before?
What the accident ?
Very short
Skips lots of parts
how does that feel?
and Good!
where does it feel good
when it feels good?
My head
and in your head
It feels clearer and I don't feel guilt
and clearer!
where does clearer moves
when it starts in head?
and what color does clearer has?
My heart
Clear is white
clear is white!
and from head to heart
can clear is white spread?
and can it flow?
It flows
and it flows!
and where does clear is white flows
and it flows
and in head
and heart
From top to bottom. Everywhere
and from top to bottom
and everywhere!
and if this feeling would have a color
and what color does it have now
and it's clear is white
Still white
do more colors
and still white ...
because white i the perfect color isn't it
for clear feeling
from top to bottom
and everywhere
and when it's white
does it have a shape or a size?
It's liquid
and it's liquid...
and a clear white liquid....
this liquid is very interesting isn't it?
did u know u had it inside of u all this time?
isn't it interesting?
can you begin to wonder
as you wander around
white liquid
what hidden treasures
you are yet to discover
in the depth of your existence?
just imagine...
if white clear liquid
that flows from top to bottom
is there
and was hidden in plain sight
what else might hide in plain sight?
how exciting it is to get up tomorrow
and the day after
the next uncovering
yet another unveiling
of a long hidden inner treasure?
keep this feeling spinning
as you do so
think about the next time
you are going to see your sister
and see her
and touch her if it's possible
and feel sister getting her dose
of white liquid
when it flows you as well from top to bottom
and everywhere
and in chest
and in head
and I wonder
what smell does a white liquid has
when it's clear and flows from top to bottom
Fresh outdoor smell
and if a white clear liquid would have a sound
and what kind of sound does a white clear liquid has
when it fresh outdoor smell
can fill more than just your lounges
It sounds like the sea
and it sounds like the sea...
and does sister enjoy feeling the liquid?
She does ❤
and does sister enjoy being around you
when you are so vibrant
and alive
with clear white liquid running through your veins
filling you
as you feel it more and more
and who else
enjoys you now
more than your old self
how many people
enjoy you more
when white clear liquid
feels from top to bottom
and notice how others are reacting to you
as you get more and more vibrant with life
and how much people can be drawn to everything that so naturally flows through and from you
as more and more people can begin to unwrap the gift of your existence
as more and more inner treasures become unveiled inside of you now
and do you see loved ones?
and do you see people enjoying?
and yes!
and what else do you see now?
My son and partner happy also and my sister smiling. A bright future for us all
and a bright future for you all!
do you want me to revert you back to your old self?
your old behaviors?
your old feelings?
this is your last chance
No 🙈
and no...
and how much better
life of son is
now that you know what you know
and I want you now
to see him growing
and as he grows
notice how much better his life improves
as you grow with him
and the more you grow, the more liquid
and more liquid, the more his life enriches
and the more his life enriches, the fresher the smell
the brighter the white
the happier partner is
the brighter future shines on us all
and keep going through time
and you will know when to stop
when all that has been dormant for too long now integrates
as a natural as breathing is to u now
and then
and forever
and do it now
I love this 👍
and love this ...
this is the perfect time
go break
every litttle old trigger you used to have
and now
in addition to the yellow chuckle
and sparkles
as you break more and more old patterns
feel the liquid more and more
and watch son growing more and more
and I highly suggest you make a video as well
without thinking
let everything pour outside
does this make sense?
Yep just doing a video
Done 😊
Haha how was making this video?
You're gonna have to add a new entry under "skills" in your CV
Good, easier than the last one lol
Might even start a YouTube channel now
I will be honored to be your first subscriber
Just remember me when u get rich and famous!
I bet u feel pretty all mighty and invincible from now eh?
I feel good
I told this is just the beginning 😉
so start planning the bright future 😉
Thanks again 😊
think of all the people
still having the old behavior
not knowing what's possible
haven't found their liquids and yellow chuckles yet
I think
you are in a great position to help them
I want to help my friend
that's very noble of you
who else you think you can help?
I'd be more than happy to help your friend find her inner liquids
you think
the people on the Facebook group
could benefit from hearing about u?
Possibly ..
okay listen I gotta go
if you wish
I think it would be great if post in the group
so people could know and contact me, as I'd like to help more people
really only if you really wish to help others tho!
Ok 👍
I'm more than happy just to know you feel awesome
you made me and ally very happy
Thanks again for your time
Adam Goldman OCD my ass
Adam “OCD my ass” Goldman

Relax, it's just life ...

  • OCD
  • Guilt
  • Trauma
  • Intrusive Thoughts
  • Transcripts

Join the conversation!

Messenger Link